As one inspects the intricacies of how men and woman relate to each other, what then becomes quite apparent is that they frequently appear to be speaking a different language. Sometimes what our partners say or do, does not make any sense to us at all. The reason behind this is because when growing up our culture imposes different ways of being, depending on our gender. Even growing up in the same house boys and girls are treated differently so each situation that we find ourselves in is viewed from a different prospective. So simply put, we are both viewing the world and the events around us from a different perspective.
Because both parties involved cannot appreciate what exactly happened for the other, it often feels as if we are deliberately being wound up by our partner, but of course, that is not usually the case.
We need to learn how to understand each other’s point of view, tolerate and accept the differences and work towards making each other happy again.
An example to show you the point I’m trying to make would be if I asked you what is the best mobile phone? Your answer would depend on what aspect you decided was important, best for price, best for camera quality, best for being small and compact, best for style, best for keyboard size or any other criteria you can think of. So everyone will come up with a different response from the same question. Once our relationship makes sense it is a simple task to live happily with each other and enjoy life more fully.
It is not unusual that one partner or occasionally even both, have unresolved issues from the past that are affecting the relationship. What frequently adds to the problem for difficult relationships is when these unresolved issues are outside of our conscious awareness. Even if there is an awareness of past events that upset us, we rarely understand exactly how our belief system has been influenced. It is important that these issues are uncovered and dealt with in order to prevent the past from impacting on the present and causing unnecessary strain on the relationships.
Being professionally counselled can literally produce life changing results in a significant way. Couples being counselled will have those hidden issues revealed and resolution found. Having achieved that, couples will then be shown how to achieve more effective communication with each other.
